Coming to terms with mental health issues

The Cross Bar
#181

It’s damn hard to talk about things at the best of times. I’ve read some really brave posts from people on this forum, not just in this thread but lots of different places. Sharing things about themselves that show vulnerability, that throws light on some random internet persona. It takes courage.

The last 2 years have been hella tough. I’ve lost my grandparents and my dad. The weird thing is that my grandparents were the two people who made me safe and secure in the world. They were my parents, they were my everything.

You always think that terrible things happen to other people, that the things you hear and read about won’t ever affect you. You feel that way right up until the point that your life gets turned upside down. When loss hits your doorstep. Then things change.

I’ve never shared really personal things about myself on this forum. But when I looked at this website that I clicked on – one of the words is “community”. And that really hit home. You guys listen and read and empathise and share. Man, it’s a special place.

I feel like shit. I feel lost and abandoned and unmotivated. The folks in life that you think will guide and protect you – they’re not here anymore. So what do you do? Well, you carry on. Because what choice do you have? I’m a very, very happily married man. But losing people disturbs and shakes your world. You feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

But there is. Why? Because there are always folks out there who care, and who listen.

Life is a fucking mystery man, you never know what the fuck will happen tomorrow. You gotta roll with the punches, you gotta appreciate what you have. Life isn’t supposed to make sense. You just have to enjoy the time you have and make the most of it.

I have been a part of this community for almost 12 years. There isn’t another place in the world I’d share this kind of stuff with. I wish all of you the very best in life. You rock, OA.

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#182

I’m sorry for your loss, Sol. Yeah the special thing about this place whilst you can have disagreements with other users, everyone as a collective cares about other people’s health and well being on here, I’ve never seen another forum have people on it like we have on here, really makes me grateful I came back to the forum.

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#183

Sorry to hear about your losses bro, we all here for you and hope you coping well.

Have to agree with you about appreciating everything and always being grateful for what you got even if it isn’t a lot, never know when all of it will be taken away. Got to say it’s admirable that you have such a positive attitude despite going through one of the worst things life can throw at you. This place is a great place to vent and get lost in the most random of discussions, which is always nice when things get shit in real life.

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#184

So sorry for your loss. It’s always good to talk. I feel you on the grandparents. My dad left when I was a baby. My mum had to work, so my Nan basically brought me up. She died a couple of years ago and I was broken.

You’ve summed up life really well there. Another OA meet up is due. And this time you won’t just have to put up with @Cristo :blush:

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#185

Sorry to hear that @Sol old pal, sounds like you’ve had a real rough go of it over the last year like many others.

I’ve refrained from posting in this thread recently - whenever someone posted about their mental health issues and I found myself writing a post I was worried that it would sound repeated, hollow and disingenuous so I never did. So I just want to reach out and say sorry to all the people who posted in here that I didn’t respond to, like @Phoebica @Josh and say that I did read your posts and I’m really sorry for what you guys are going through/have gone through.

I feel like as far as online communities go, many of us have become about as close to each other as you can realistically get to someone without actually seeing someone in the flesh on the regular. We have our differences and we bicker and snap at each other, but ultimately we’re all human and brought together by our love of our club. I’m coming up on 12 years on this board, almost half my life which is pretty crazy to think about. It’s probably been the most constant thing in my life these last 12 years. I’m very happy to see so many of us feel confident and open enough to talk about very personal problems that cause us sadness and difficulty - which is often the only way to really deal with mental health issues.

Long may we continue supporting each other in times of need.

And I’ll have you know me and Sol had a cracking time on our own in Harry’s bar all those years ago down by Bank :joy:

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#186

Ah @Cristo you don’t have to apologise. You’re one of my favourite people. I always vote for you in the OA awards. Including that year when you voted for yourself so you could beat me. I could have changed my vote to myself, but I didn’t, because I am not desperate :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: I am totally over that by the way.

But yeah you are right. Most people on here are lovely and actually I have met people on here who I talk to offline who have become really important to me. And next time I will definitely come to the meet up, just to save @Sol from your Made In Chelsea chatter :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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#187

Ahahaha I forgot about that, my friends have always said I’m shameless but that takes the cake :joy:

Thanks for still liking me, you’re one of my faves too despite your rampant and traitorous Chelsea fandom haha

#188

I’ve been there. Exactly there. A relationship ending, substance abuse, sadness and a suicide attempt. Mine spiralled so out of control, that it took me being homeless before I finally got my shit together.

I’m not sure what I’m auditioning for, but I’m over qualified :slight_smile:

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#189

^ this kinda belongs here. I obviously think Osaka has every right to skip media briefings and eat the fine, but not every player on the tour can just cough up a cool $15k right? I wonder if she’d pay someone else’s fine if they didn’t want to talk citing mental health reasons but couldn’t afford it.

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#190

I don’t quite understand the implication that it would in any way be her responsibility to do so?

Isn’t the more valid talking point to do with tennis authorities doing more to look out for the wellbeing of players and anyone they might employ? Why instead imply it’s up to her to do something about the mental wellbeing of her fellow pros, instead of their de facto “employers”?

#191

Players should be paid to do media briefings rather

#192

Well if it’s in the rules, she knows the score. If she doesn’t want to do it but the rest are there isn’t much she can do.
Im dubious on her reasoning and feel it’s stuff like this that waters down and hijacks bigger issues for people with mental health problems.

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#193

They already get an entrance fee…That would probably include the rules that they have to do media stuff…

I do feel for her, but, as they say, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”

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#194

It’s definitely not her responsibility at all. I’m just pretty cynical that tennis tour management would do anything to look out for labor and assume it’s always on labor to look out for each other.

#195

Absolutely, we are on verge of diluting the term depression/mental health for day to day inconvenience.

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#196

Idk Strolls, I’m conflicted on this.

Those interviews are pretty pointless. You get a bunch of empty platitudes before and after about preparation, effort and etc.

On the other hand, yeah, players all know the score when they sign up. And Osaka is in a relatively privileged position with respect to her profile in the game. It’s not like the tour would expel her from matches, there’s just no way. So she’s got the upper hand there. Hopefully she does something to force changes like @JakeyBoy suggested.

The article did say that the tour reached out to her in an attempt to make her walk the decision back. I wonder if that was more of a pleading call or a threatening call. We’ll probably never know. I don’t really trust those big faceless orgs though.

#197

Professional sport is massive and has huge investment that the players benefit from. The price you pay is things like interviews. Yeah they are all a bit nothing.
Lets remember though being interviewed in your sponsored tracksuit and cap is making her money.
Tournament sponsors in the background is payback for the investment. Professional sport is governed by its sponsorship and tv and paying audience.
It’s part of the trade off.

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#198

I get your point, but Depression is a spectrum. That’s why we use the term ‘Clinically Depressed’ to refer to those people who require medical intervention.

But just because you’re mental health isn’t at that stage, doesn’t mean you’re not suffering with depression.

#199

There probably has to be better nomenclature on this. At the minute you’re either depressed or you’re not (whether that’s PTSD, mild depression, clinical depression, bipolar disease, manic depression).

There isn’t really a diagnostic tool for depression at the moment, either. There is the possibility of the dexamethasone suppression test (given that endogenous steroids levels can be relatable, inversely proportional to depression) but I don’t believe that this is mutually exclusive to depression (hence we question its veracity)

This leaves the massive grey area @stroller was talking about. Dare I say it, those crying wolf are making healthcare professionals miss the wood for the trees.

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#200

You know this, I know this.
But are we educating the upcoming generation enough to make a distinction? or are we creating a mindset where they amplify the impact of mundane annoyances?

We are going from one extreme of completely dismissing mental health issues to other extreme of everything being related to mental health.
We are still very early in mental health awareness so I am not that bothered, eventually it will come to the mean. I just hope these mental health professionals will properly treat individuals in the meantime.

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