Any cunt that uses the outer 2 lanes for anything other than over taking can fuck off and eat a dick riddled with aids.
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You should come to Ireland and drive on the m50 
When people sit next to me with food i either squeeze some cheese so they can smell my shit while they eat the fucking chicken and chips (and it always is - never spag bol or pizza…)
Or if i got no gas in the tank its time for a game of pick it roll it flick it…
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@SRCJJ having a casual bit of lunch with the in laws in our Air bnb. Had to wolf my food down and then go out for a lengthy cigarette cos all I could hear was salad being chomped from 5 directions 
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Anything to do with Liverpool FC
I absolutely hate the fuckers .
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I’ve got two, both traffic related…
People who’ve no idea that when a two lane Road is closing down to one lane that you’re supposed to use both lanes and merge one and one at the end, if everyone used both lanes the traffic would be short. Instead some cock ring of a lorry driver decided to take it upon himself to be the controller of traffic flow and drive in the middle of the road to stop any traffic passing, I was already in lane so it wasn’t me that was being blocked. Either way, grow up you fucking sap.
Number 2 one one of my lovely neighbours who are a bit council.
The Street i live on every house has a driveway for at at least one car, ours has enough space for one so the misses parks on the drive as she has a nicer car and I leave mine parked on the road outside the house. Neighbour opposite despite there being only 2 people living in the house has 2 cars parked on the drive way and a further 3 scattered along the road. Somedays I’ll literally pop out for 5 minutes, come back and the cunt is parked in the space where I was outside my house. It’s so fucking selfish, often come home and he’s parked right on the edge of our drive leaving enough space to get out but making it awkward because his fleet of other sheds are parked fucking everywhere. Now I know I have no legal right to park outside my house that’s fine but this selfish cunt absolutely takes the fucking piss.
My neighbours banging on the walls at 2:30 am most mornings . Fucking arsehole of a family. Luckily enough I was still up playing my drums !
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Get an electronic kit, big ass PA and just crank the fucker.
When people invite themselves into your house and then say “make us a cup of tea”.
I don’t mind a cup of tea, in fact I quite like it but it’s not a fundamental part of my life. But it seems everybody over 40 in England drinks like 8 cups of the shit a day and for them it’s a normal ritual in their day because they have nothing better to do, but when you’re not really a tea person then the amount of steps involved to create a drinkable cup are really beyond a reasonable effort level.
I’m a squash guy. Glass, squash, water and bosh, we’re having a drink. But making a round of tea is at least 5 minutes of work, and you always get some awkward “I don’t have sugar can I have sweeteners” or “I have it really really weak” cunt, so I’m instantly stressing out about ruining their life by making it wrong.
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I love you @Craigie :giroud3:
I very rarely make a cup of tea, as I’m not a tea drinker, so when it comes to having to make one for someone else, it feels really unnatural process and everyone wants it in their own particular way. I’m always either having water or some juice of some sort. Same as you, glass, juice, pour, and we’re good to go. No fucking around waiting for a kettle to boil and all the other stuff that comes with it.
Actually, that brings me onto something else. Soup. I don’t have it very often, but once in a bluemoon, I quite like a bowl of soup, with some bread to go with it. But I always tend to set it so that it’s pretty warm, but not boiling hot, so that when it’s ready, I can consume it right away. I never understand why people make it so hot, then have to wait ages for it to cool down, or blow on it constantly. Same as hot drinks. Maybe that’s just me, but I never understood why it has to be so unnessesarily hot :bellerin:
I actually had soup for dinner yesterday. I find that if I make it only warm then by the time I’m close to finishing the soup is no longer warm. If you make it that bit too hot to start with then by the time I’m finishing my soup is still warm.
Get a teapot ffs lads. Make them do the work!
So true. Although I probably drink about 3 cups of tea a day, which I’d say is reasonable. The guys I work with want a tea at 8am, 10am, 12pm, 2pm. That’s not discounting the two they’ve had before work either. The twats always harp on about me getting my work done too, the cheeky fucks.
Water all day for me.
I agree, I fucking hate having boiling hot drinks or food that aren’t readily available to eat.
My mother is one for having stuff piping hot all the time, go over for some dinner or whatever and everything is like fucking lava.
Also what most people fail to understand is that the hotter the food the worse your perception of taste and flavour. unless it’s a high risk food I very rarely heat my food to boiling point. I’ll cook it and leave it sit for a few minutes.
Also, Tea can get to fuck.
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Tea and soup? What a bunch of whimps. Coffee and meat is the only way.
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What pisses me off about it though is the sheer audacity too. My inlaws do the same, and it pisses me off. The invite themselves over when i am in the middle of stuff, then they sit their asses down then decide ‘oh look he is doing something i guess that is time for drinks’ So they then disturb me, i get their fucking drinks and they then complain…’‘uuummm can i have some more milk in mine, another sugar please’. Then after that, have you got any biccies? No i dont i am out…well have you got anything nice to have with this. Get TO FUCK!
I just find it rude personally especially to invite yourself over in the first place as if that is not bad enough. At least wait to be asked dont invite yourself or come to someone elses house and then start asking for stuff at least be offered, but then not to be grateful and pick on little things and then expect to be fed etc on top of it, you were the ones that decided to come over so hence you knew you were coming so why did you not eat and have a drink before you left, bunch of freeloading moochers.
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Being a home shopping delivery driver I have a few…
Firstly, if the only way to your door is past your car then at least make sure there’s more than 3mm gap past your precious shed to maneuver your Shreddies past, otherwise I’m very likely going to catch it.
If you book a delivery PUT YOUR FUCKING DOG AWAY! Yes, your Akita/Rottweiler/Alsatian/Grizzly Bear cross might be your cuddly little baby, but it snarling, barking and snapping at me is not fucking pleasant when I’m just dropping off your multi-pack of Tena Lady. Honestly, the amount of dogs that have been loud, aggressive and have right out attacked me whilst their owners just stand there is disgusting. Take some responsibility.
Impatient drivers. There’s no such fucking thing as a ‘fast’ lane. Every lane has the same speed limit, none of them have a fucking speed target. My van is limited to 62. A lorry is limited to 56. They pass each other because they go at different speeds and the 2-3mph difference can be the difference between that lad making his drop on time, or between him going to bed with his family, or sleeping in a lay-by for the night. I have a time limit to my job and every second is accounted for, so you can be damn straight so that I’m flooring an almighty 62mph to overtake the big chuggers.
Dangerous ‘Lad’ drivers. I appreciate that you might have a banger blasting on the Argos stereo you fitted, and the holes you drilled in the cars airbox make an impressive noise, but 3.5 tonnes is still more than enough to fuck up your little Clio/Fiesta/Matchbox if I don’t react quick enough to you cutting me up you little shits.
Rude/ignorant/grumpy people. Those people. I’m bringing you your wine and chocolate Karen, it’s pissing it down with rain, and I’m stood here holding a bag of fucking Savers Fish Fingers wishing you a good day. Even if a ‘thank you’ is above your comprehension, at least crack a fucking smile ya mawky cow.
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I can’t relate to a single thing you wrote from either side of any of the situations but I do love a good vent lol
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Oh but that’s the point mate. Intentionally fuck up all the drinks, and eventually they’ll stop asking you
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