Sonic womb
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Okay, last one I promise. You can see my missus holding her. Theyâre just clones of each other. :laca: Maybe the next one will look like both of us.
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Definitely Emery Out member
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Most definitely. We raise them right.
Resurrecting this masterpiece of a thread.
So Iâve been talking to this girl. She ticks a lot of the boxes. Sheâs confident, very attractive, ambitious, hard working and easy to talk to.
She also ticks a lot of the other boxes in that sheâs not overly fussed about getting married (and if she does, she wants an extremely small ceremony despite being someone with a big circle of friends. Sheâs also not in a rush to have kids either.
Everythingâs been going swimmingly for a bit now but the last 4 or 5 days sheâs done a few things to bother me.
On Friday I told her I wanted to turn my phone off so I could focus on something Iâm working on with my friends and she was like âwhat? At this time on a Friday night? cant you work on it tomorrow?â
I explained that I wanted to work on it now (as if I even had to fucking do that lol) and her response was âI just think itâs funny that you could have picked any other time and you chose the time we usually FaceTimeâ
Anyway, she apologised in the morning (after I turned my phone off anyway) and then today she got annoyed because I told her I didnât want anybody (Her) to plan my 30th birthday for me (which is in fucking March anyway) and she thought it was ridiculous that I didnât like surprises and I tried to explain to her that itâs my birthday and so I want to celebrate it however I see fit.
Anyway she finally starts to accept that itâs my birthday so Iâll do whatever I wanna do and then decides to start asking me random questions about my last and then gets upset at some of the answers (which begs the question - why fucking ask lol).
And then today was the absolute icing on the cake. She told me that sheâs been celibate for the last year and wants to try and remain that way until sheâs married. She asked me if that would bother me and I said to her, in all honesty, I donât even think I want to get married again anytime in the next few years so I canât imagine a situation where Iâd be happy to be celibate to for X amount of years. And she thinks that makes me selfish.
What a woman. God bless them.
The above post is totally pointless but I find it therapeutic to vent on OA.
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Iâm a girl, yet I donât understand why a girl would tell a guy that knowing heâll probably run a mile.
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Fuckâs sake, man.
I hope your job ainât stressful, too. Having to deal with that and that bint on top might be enough to make one jump over the cliff edge.
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Haha to be honest mate I donât even find this kind of stuff stressful. I just find women funny thatâs all.
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She has needs and sheâs angling for more, without being forceful about it. She wants to be important to her significant other, so therefore expects to have a say in important parts of your life, ie your birthday because if she doesnât she therefore isnât important to you, in her mind. Sheâs stating she wants to remain celebate until marriage, not because she doesnât want sex but because deep down sheâs desperate for long term commitment, to be secure in a relationship and to reproduce.
Iâve had similar things, that were way stranger interactions:
In my early 20s, I got with a girl whoâd previously turned me down in Uni and spent about a week living with her. I told her I was going home to pick up a few things and do a few things. In reality this meant Iâd be fulfilling my Championship Manager gaming fix for several hours. She called me crying outside the uni library feeling abonded. I had to cancel mid game and come out to resque her.
One of my baby mamas on the first date we went out for a meal and then went to my hotel. We had sex. Next thing sheâs crying and having a tantrum in the extra bed âwhat if I donât want sex for the next 6 months, will you still want me, what thenâ. She went on this rant about how I was using her for sex and how Iâd discard her. She had a fear of abondenment. We had sex the next morning and every time after we met up after that and went onto have children and a long term relationship
The girl youâre with obviously wants some commitment without being obnoxious about it. Sheâs probably at a time in her life when sheâs thinking about nesting, settling down and having children. I donât know if you had children with your ex but do you ever want children? How old do you want to be when you have children? If you donât want any of those things then just be upfront with her. Because it sounds like you might be looking for different things, or maybe not?
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Apparently not
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This would all be so much more convincing coming from literally anyone but you.
This is a long one so sorry to anyone reading itâŚ
Well my girlfriend of only five months has ended it today. Sounds like no time at all I know, but Iâve never had a happy relationship truly before and she was/is absolutely wonderful. She made everything even better and Iâve been a complete fucking idiot and ruined it. I shouldâve dealt with situations far better and been far less selfish, more sensitive to her and all round a better man for her.
She deserves better and without going into too much personal detail about her I just wasnât there enough for her as much as I shouldâve been.
The most recent event (and by far the worst, though of course in any âlong distanceâ relationship there will be issues/arguments due to the stress of this unique situation) was about a week ago we went for a distanced skate and she was just exhausted, which in turn brought me down and drained me and instead of being sensitive about her being drained from work and what she was dealing with, I stupidly said itâs exhausting me her being like that. As soon as I said it I felt fucking awful knowing what sheâs going through. Iâd rather tell it as it is than hide behind some half truths where I look anything less than an absolute fucking arsehole.
We went our separate ways pretty much immediately then and she said she canât do this anymore via text later. I eventually rang her and talked her round to me giving her space. This was Friday evening. Sunday I had some drinks with a friend at a distance and stupidly I caved and messaged her saying I didnât want to lose her, what I felt about her and how special she was to me, among many other things.
It seemed good after that for a couple of dayâs til she started being really distant with me and not saying much so I questioned her about it on Tuesday, she said I just need more time again. Are you noticing a pattern? Guess which fucking idiot didnâtâŚ
So it came to today and Iâve tried really hard but then she posted loads of pics on Instagram of her looking fucking amazing and it just got to me, so I messaged her asking if we could meet in a couple of days or something.
No way she couldnât it would make her cry too much and send the other emotions sheâs dealing with through the roof and cripple her. So stupidly because I am an idiot, we kept talking for ages then eventually she says I need to be selfish like youâve said, do whatâs best for me and end this. So she did. We exchanged a fair few messages more after that and now sheâs gone.
I donât expect any sympathy really or anything because I messed up something truly special and will regret this for a long time. This will be without question the one that got away.
I just hope anyone in a relationship and considering one or meets someone special, learns from the mistakes Iâve made here.
Doesnât stop it hurting massively any less though, if anything itâs worse because I know itâs my fault that Iâve hurt someone I love, so much.
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Keep your chin up, mate. I know you went through a lot with your last relationship, too.
Iâm not going to tell you there are plenty more fish in the sea or to get drunk and get laid, becauee thatâll only make you feel worse.
What I will say is that, over time, things will get better (look at how quickly you met this girl after the last, for example. Some people go their entire lives without having been in a relationship)
Youâve been brutally honest with yourself in the post but Iâm sure sheâs not without fault herself. Donât beat yourself up too much. If you have to post on here as a form of catharsis, or PM one of us, please do so. Donât go through this on your own, mate
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I mean in all honesty it was about 6/7 months after the previous, that I met this girl so yeah youâre right, though that previous one was done way before that and it was only my fault continuing with it.
Thank you so much for your kind words, I have absolutely no desire to even consider anyone else but her, or any other vice whatsoever. I would be happiest with her, but at the same time I want her to be happy, even if that means she needs to hurt me initially in the process.
Also yeah, nobody is perfect and nor was she, but every issue there was with her were minor details and situations that we were both mature enough about to discuss and move forward from. The problem is conversely Iâve been out of line in extreme ways by comparison so whilst itâs not entirely one-sided, the blame is heavily on my side.
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Mate, if what youâve said is all true and you didnât do any other dick moves (which you might have done) you havenât really done anything wrong and youâre probably better off without someone whoâs high maintenance in the long run.
Youâve found some of the things you wanted in a relationship here but your partner wasnât willing to meet you in the middle. Get back to dating sites, chatting with loads of girls about mutual interests/ambitions and maybe youâll find someone who is a better fit for you.
I know you feel bad, but just get stuck in being social with available ladies. Youâll cheer up in no time.
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Trust me I havenât painted the full picture if thatâs the conclusion youâre drawing from it. I know Iâm an old man and shouldnât be thinking like this, or behaving like this, but Is it weird she removed my initials from her instagram, and hid our relationship from her profile, the week before when i agreed to give her space, because "i cant see what its like without you if youâre still on my socials and stuffâ is that a red flag or am I overthinking?
Furthermore sheâs now gone round to the house of a guy I work with whoâs sound as fuck sure, but he was eyeing her hard when I introduced them, they talk loads on insta and snapchat and the moment weâre done sheâs round at his house âfor a brewâ and he has a gf but itâs complicated. However my gf is so stunning I think anyone would struggle to make a move if they were single in their head.
I feel horrible
The guy you work with is a dickhead. Uncool to make a move like he has.
(Not sure if it is a move, but his motives donât sound innocent. The son of a bitch)
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Youâre far too hard in yourself, honestly, thatâs my take away from your posts.
Iâm not for a second saying it isnât good to be self-reflective and aware of some of your own issues that may have contributed to the breakdown of this relationship, thatâs definitely a positive instinct youâve got. It would be better if we were all more like you and were willing to pause and consider how our own behaviour has contributed certain situations. I could definitely do with being more like that.
But itâs tough reading your posts and seeing you beat up on yourself so much, quite painful reading.
Youâre still young, as am I before I sound patronising with it. But sometimes you have to go through a load of shit before you find the right person.
Just keep working on your own issues, you have the advantage of at least being aware that you have stuff to work on, cos most people donât. With time youâll find the right person, I honestly believe that, but itâll only happen when youâre also ready.
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Gio, purely judging from above, she seems like a bit of an attention seeker. Cunt for lack of better words. She was already planning next move. Saying it straight up.
Youâre a sound guy from what we can tell, in good shape and time on your side. Chin up pal. Sheâll be regretting losing you soon trust me.
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Please just try and not too get in touch and follow her every move like the last one @Gio.
Remember what that done to you last time. Your going to hurt mate and itâs going to take time. Donât put yourself or your family through this again mate. If you have done as wrong as you say and feel,fine then. The price has been paid. You donât have to self loath.
Look what where living through mate. Think itâs given all of us a moment to recognise how precious life is. Yours is too. Live it @Gio to the max.
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