The Relationship/Wedding Thread

All of OA is getting married, y tho

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Bachelor life for me. I’m telling myself it’s through choice and that’s final.

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Some of us will stay single for now :sunglasses:

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I think it’s a hugely personal choice for each couple to make.

Hopefully if and when you do marry it will be something you do just once in your life and it will be a wonderful and very special day marrying your partner for life. More importantly, I very much hope it is a lasting and happy relationship.

When I married we had a very small affair with just 12 guests and a very nice gourmet tasting menu meal at a top local hotel. All in including flowers, photographer, ceremony and drinks/meal bill we had change out of £2,000. I didn’t feel the day was any less for being a relatively small affair at all and we had a lovely memorable day. I would do the same again and preferred having just very close friends and family rather than a wider circle of guests and so did my wife. For us we spent less money but more importantly had a more enjoyable day that way. We had a relatively expensive honey moon in the Maldives and Dubai but that wasn’t essential for us and we would have had a lovely time just going to somewhere like Tenerife (we like) for £2k.

Equally when my much younger niece married they had a huge number of guests and a massive booze up and got my brother to foot the £30k plus bill. I think she would do the same again and I gave her a £1,000 towards her expensive honey moon (I think they spent about £8k on it in total) so she went large on both fronts. It wasn’t my cup of tea as it was over the top with the drinking and loud music but she liked it that way so I was happy for her.

I’d rather do it my way and would do the same again but it is a very personal choice driven by what you both feel works well for you and also dependent on culture.

My only advice on getting married is make sure you are compatible in all the key areas and explore those carefully first as well as having the romantic and loving feelings and attraction for each other. For me it is a decision to be made with the head and the heart and both need to be right before making such a big jump and commitment.

Shared humour, some shared interests/hobbies you both really enjoy, mutual respect, tolerance and consideration for each other are vital in my experience. Sharing beliefs on key things such as how money should be managed, the lifestyle and place you want to live and how children should be raised (assuming you want them) are also all vital. Finally you have to be able to communicate constructively and have a relationship style you are both happy with (for example if you want to go off and do your own hobbies a lot on your own/with your mates but she thinks you should do everything together then it’s gonna cause problems). You can be sure some problems will come along and it is how you handle those as a couple that will often decide your future - if they drive you apart and you cannot resolve them it will fail for sure. I think both partners also need to be willing to compromise and give and take for the greater good of the relationship as well as being able to communicate effectively/have a method for resolving the problems (sometimes even being happy to agree to differ and respecting the differences is fine too as long as the difference isn’t that fundamental to what you can live with).

So it’s quite a long list but in my experience if there are key problems in any of those areas it is quite easy for a marriage to break and when there are kids involved it is often a tragedy for them and for you as well as being financially devastating - and a nuptial agreement will not get you too far in this country either unless you are super rich and even then it will only get you so far.

Sorry if this comes across as the witterings of an old man and good luck if and when you finally marry.

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OA Post of the Year

This, to me, is the most important thing. I don’t take myself very seriously, I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t “get” me in that way.

As Marilyn Monroe said, if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

Did she say that after the cocktail of barbiturates and alcohol, or before?

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Well, it only pops into my head after, so I assume she was the same

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We all knew you were whipped after recent posts, but letting your Mrs post on your OA account is next level bruh

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“if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything” she said as she slept with the 2 most powerful men in America.

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What’s the relevance of who she was sleeping with?

Marilyn Monroe got inebriated and slept with men, why would you quote her?

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I suppose the credibility revolves around how funny you consider the Kennedy’s to be

It’s a throwaway quote, I don’t think she lived her life by it.

Whats wrong with getting inebriated and sleeping with men?

I know.

Just to clarify to everyone though, I am a virgin and teetotal.

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But TBF so many women have this MM quote on their dating profile:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

What if on my dating profile I write: I’m jealous, insecure, crazy as hell and sometimes beat the shit out of women. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best

Yet women pull this bullshit off all the time. Blokes nod their head ‘yes, yes love you can be obnoxious as you want love, you have nice tits’

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Only one of those quotes contains a crime in fairness.

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It’s the kind of vibe I get from some of your posts on here, so really, not that different to just popping it on your tinder profile and owning it mate like these fierce, sassy and brave ladies quoting Mazza.

Behaviour and crimes are socially subjective