Might as well just pick Haaland and KDB for your FF team and have the rest from Fulham, Brentford and Bournemouth. 
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Oh good. We’re signing a guy who KdB thinks can’t be a 20-25 goal/season striker.
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Just fucking Ooooooooohhh. 
Look like the type of shitty mural you’d see in Northern Ireland
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I wish, that right there’s a work of art compared
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Might go round calling everyone kettles. Wasn’t aware of such a high brow insult until now
You’ve got to be steaming mad to throw that at someone. Best wait till you’re off the boil.
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A bit rich of you to call Phoebica mad.
Talk about pot calling the kettle black.
Erm, that’s the global “you’ve” that I’ve used there. Nothing aimed at Phoœbs. Now simmer down, please. 
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These chucklefucks just out here playing FM with real people. Absolutely insane that they’re adding him to their attack.
I do wonder about his durability though. Not in the sense of handling defenders, but those soft tissue injuries that just hang around and are tough to rehab.
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Be hilarious when Jesus scores more than him and Nunes next season.
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Look what a crashing crypto market does to Castiel ffs
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I actually just looked at my portfolio after posting that lmao. It’s uh, isn’t good. Going to put my last shiba inu on Jesus top goal scorer next season and win it all back though.
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like, erection problem?
Absolutely
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Haaland has a very punchable face. I’m sure it will just get more punchable as the season goes on and after he’s got his first hattrick against Arsenal.
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We’re assuming he’ll have more than one against us this season?
Not really, just assuming we’ll be the first ones to let him get it.