Work/life balance

The Cross Bar
21

Some really interesting views above, great thread idea @k1tsun3 :+1:

I echo a lot of what’s been said already, and I particularly relate to those who have worked in finance or still do. There is a huge amount of pressure in these jobs to perform and put in the hours. There is an expectation that people will put in 10-12 hour days on the regular without fuss, and the impact that can have on your home life is huge.

I’m rather fortunate that I work for a big corporate but in a smaller office where the culture is very different to the City. I finish most days before 6pm and only work long hours when I have lots of client work happening all at the same time. However, for my colleagues who are based in the City, this is not their experience at all. Having met @Cristo the other week, his experiences are no different to the people at my firm who are based in the City too.

As a recently married bloke, the time I have with my wife is really important to me and naturally I worry a lot about how my career might affect the time I will have for kids in the future (if I’m lucky enough to be blessed with a family some day). I also go back to the Midlands to see my family on most weekends - so not being absolutely shattered by the time the weekend comes is important too.

However, I know that if I move up 2 grades (which will likely happen in the next 3-4 years) that my work life balance will change drastically for the negative even if I stay in this smaller office.

I’m so conflicted about this. Knowing how fucking hard my parents worked to provide for me and my brother, it’s kind of naturally ingrained into me that I will work hard for my family and to provide the best possible opportunities for them. I feel like that’s my job as a father and a husband, and I’m sure many people relate to this. It’s not some macho bullshit either, I’d rather I made the sacrifice so that my family reaps the reward.

Knowing the story of my grandparents and particularly how hard my grandfather worked, the foundations he built for his sons…the massive risk he took by leaving his family in India to come to the UK in the 70s, leaving all of that behind to find a better life…it really humbles me every day and puts a lot of things in perspective.

I’ve grown up with the ethos that you work hard for your family and that’s that. I accepted that this is what my life will be about. But more recently, I have started to challenge this thinking as really, spending time with your family is what will benefit your children the most in the long-term. Raising them to be good human beings, creating those connections…surely that has far more value than working all the time and being absent, even if it is with the intention of giving them the best opportunities in life?

22

I think the Indian grandparents were a colossal breed. They worked every hour God sent, got married in their late teens, had at least 2 kids by the time they were 25. The tragedy is that I’m almost certain their long term plan was to earn enough to go back to India long term and settle back there (a little like how I’ve seen one or two Polish mates go back to the motherland after having earnt a few bob, only never to return)

The sad irony of the Indian grandparent lesson was that they promoted education, education, education even before Tony Blair did. It’ll get you a better job than working in a factory for a shilling n sixpence, they said. However, it’s these very graduate jobs which are proving stressful, timely (delaying the whole “family starting” argument) and shaping our personalities for the worse

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23

@Leper I’m currently in a multi-academy trust, but not a big one. I love the first school I worked at, but things have changed quite a bit since I left. I had to leave as the the Head at the time would allow me to go dow to 4 days per week so I could further my studies in Education. I did lots of two-term to 1 year supply, and in all honesty, there wasn’t much difference between the schools. They would all offer a better work/life balance than my current school, but not significantly so. I loved my last job, but the commute/pay combo made it impossible to stay after my son was born. It would’ve been difficult to get back in time to collect him from nursery and the pay would’ve barely cover nursery and my travel.

I’m currently on long-term supply again. I initially didn’t want a supply contract, but I’m glad I have it now. It’s easier to leave. I only wanted 4 days, and I couldn’t find a school looking to hire for 4 days. I was contemplating a career change before my son arrived, but I’m pretty certain it’s best for me. I’m just glad there are those out there who can balance it with life.

24

This here is why I think my generation of South Asian descent can and should build our own personal family cultures. I’m not saying it isn’t already happening but I don’t think there’s room for any more guilt. They built our platform and now we can build the next. We have opportunities now to invoke all of hard work, free will and a healthy lifestyle.

Honestly the main problem has been the fear mongering regarding doing things any other way. Work-life balance is a concept that many South Asians are influenced to look down upon too much.

25

This is a hard one because I have a poor work life balance and it has cost me relationships/potential relationships. I spend way to much time at work sometimes doing 13hour days often to make sure that everything is completed, check and scrutinized. Now I have to add going back to uni to finish my studies it’s going to be interesting.
I don’t have kids but if did would not be putting as much time as I do now, because what I do now is not healthy in the slightest. When I do (if a women can tear me away from my work) I won’t be working as long. At the moment I rarely see my friends as they have kids and I do not. The ones who do not have a similar mindset like myself where they are pursuing they career full throttle so we just end up catching up on the phone.

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26

What we prioritises changes as we get older and our personal lives change. I worked long hours when I first started teaching as I didn’t want to carry books home. I did bring marking home, just not books as they were a pain to lug to and fro. The commute has become something I know consider as well because of having to be able to collect my son from nursery. I refused to use a nursery close to work because I didn’t want to subject him to the crazy London trains in the morning.

I’ve had a bit of luck come my way after spending the last few months heavily reading up on career changing and how I can highlight my transferable skills. I’ve been focusing on startups. I’ve had a productive and promising phone call. But because of my prescheduled travel, I won’t get to go in for a chat until Nov. But I’ve got it in my calendar. Hopefully it’ll still sound good then!

27

It’s absolutely essential that you have time for yourself/your family after work. I didn’t go through advanced education when I was younger, I did a Carpentry and Joinery course when I left school for 3 years and I was out working with my Dad at an early age.

My hours have always been relatively decent. The worst job I worked, I had to be at the yard for 5:45 (which was in Hertfordshire) and finished in the some part of central London at 17:00. Long hours really aren’t for me and since being with my now wife, it’s even more imperative that I keep my working hours at a reasonable level. I know plenty of trades guys that work crazy hours to earn a wedge. And fair play to them, they earn bundles and have done well for themselves in a short amount of time but have sacrificed their personal lives because of it. I, on the other hand work for a big company, earn an average wage and get to enjoy my evenings/weekends with the people I love.

I just don’t see the point in marrying the absolute one person you cherish dearly to then not spend any time with them because of working commitments.

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28

I think the difference for me is that I didn’t start working a real big boy job until 28 which I am now.

I made the absolute most of my twenties as an undergrad, post grad and student union president and working some other chill jobs and so I feel like making some sacrifices for the next X years is OK because I had a shit ton of fun in the time period when you’re able to have a lot of fun without responsibility.

I was listening to a podcast that interviewed some guy in the US recently who started a wealth management company when he was younger and he said something that resonated. “Spend your 20s having fun, your 30s learning and your 40s making money”.

I don’t mind making sacrifices and working really hard in my 30s and 40s to ensure I can have a happy and comfortable 50s+.

Have you guys ever seen the aviva advert for pensions? With the old guy in the pub counting out his coppers to afford a drink? I do NOT want to be that guy and unfortunately the way I see our increasingly capitalist society going, being wealthy and having money is going to be more important than ever in the future.

Our generation will not be able to rely on state pensions as our pension, and we’ll increasingly have to be able to support our own children to a higher age.

I have seen too many people, family and strangers, who struggle now on meagre pensions or can’t help out their kids or don’t have a strong financial safety net, and that situation terrifies me.

So for the next 15 - 20 years I don’t mind sacrificing my work-life balance, especially when I’ve had what I consider a great, carefree 20s decade with little to no responsibility.

I still pay the lottery though haha

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29

Gotta be in it to win it right? :rofl:

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30

@Cristo is right. I was lucky enough to do an unpaid internship with the county prosecutor’s office after I left law school. My parents let me live with them, eat their food, stay on their health insurance and etc. That unpaid position turned into a paid one and I’ve been there for about five years.

The work-life balance is pretty good compared to other legal positions where your salary depends on how many hours you bill. We make significantly less money than those in private practice, especially on the civil litigation side, but we get five weeks paid leave every year and it expires Dec. 31 so you have to use it. My boss also doesn’t mind if people bring their kids to the office if schools are ever closed for weather which is nice.

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31

Honestly, great to hear this.

I also work in the Civil Service and one thing I really praise them for is the value they give towards your commitments outside work-life.

With the introduction of ‘smarter working’ I’ve been given even more leeway to work from home. Otherwise, hours are very flexible. The core hours work perfectly for someone who has family commitments.

I think slowly and steadily, private sector are also realising the importance between work and life outside work. In fact, studies show that people tend to be more productive when ‘smarter working’ is implemented.

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32

Since i left working for her majesty ive gone into recruitment and i found it so bloody hard to balance. And probably failed several times. Time management at home as at work can be nigh on impossible.

Recruitment is not a 9-5 job and it can be a shit fight for days on end with a very strong chin needed. But every available opportunity i can get i take to be with Jack…

33

Yeah, I’m staying clear of recruitment. I know several ex-teachers who went that way and all say the hours are longer, but they don’t have kids and are happy to work the hours. For them it was more the autonomy they received, better pay potential and progression.

I wish the government would treat teachers well. The constant change in the syllabus and exams is time consuming. No sooner teachers, students and parents have a clearer understanding of expectations, they government changes it. But yeah, no interest in staying in teaching at all. I really to applaud those who remain.

I’m looking forward to my interview on the 1st and I’m still looking to apply for other jobs.

This has been an enlightening thread. All the different feedback is interesting and has definitely provided food for thought.

34

I’m sitting at work in a toilet cubicle going for a poo, when a thought strikes me.

It’s 11am and I’ve still got another 8 hours of work to go before I’ll go home. Maybe 8.5.

That’s as long as most people’s full work day :joy: :sob:

35

How may days of a week & how many hours a day do you work?

36

I once worked with a guy who kept a running total of how long he spent in the jacks each day. At the end of the year he’d tot up how much he’d been paid for having a shit. :joy:

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37

Monday - Friday, usually 11-12 hours per day.

@shamrockgooner

I tend to take 2 5-10 minute poos day

38

I hope you are paid accordingly.

39

I do ok. For the UK average, I’m well remunerated and for London I’m ok but I’m underpaid for my industry speaking to colleagues at other companies.

It’s all right, I can’t complain. Well, I can and I will, but still.

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40

Dang dude. Is that the normal going hours in your field then? Does it take long to commute for you?