Not content with just saving our defence. Kieran, Rob and Hector have just had their promo pictures taken for Celebrity X Factor where they have entered as a three piece boyband
Yes they do, in some cases I guess. Gotta learn to live with it. In ur case tho if u already feel like u are meant to be single, and ur already seeing all these potential stumbling blocks in ur marriage, red flags only 8 months inā¦I dunno brother it might make sense before you get to deep to really contemplate ur future.
No good talking about it on here though mate. My experience is that most things can be overcome but hard work is needed. Not an easy talk to startā¦
Nevermind
I was exceptionally broody in my late 20s and early 30s, one relationship ended because of it and then I was fortunate enough to meet someone who could deal with me for a few years before I eventually calmed down
When you say ācalmed downā do you just mean youāre less broody and desperate to have kids, or that youāve changed your mind about having kids?
Iāve always held a similar view to @Cristo about kids (well maybe not quite as strong) but it didnāt matter because as a woman A) your hormones make you batshit crazy/obsessive about the idea B ) many/nearly all of your friends get pregnant and start sharing idyllic family photos every 5 minutes and C) general societal pressure to conform and provide grandchildren to adoring grandparents
So you feel like you canāt escape and accept what you actually want. But then one day you meet someone with the same thoughts as you and It helps ease A) quite a bit, come to terms with B ) and maybe a helpful sibling takes care of C) for you
You dated a 19 year old when you were 25?
America gave her a network TV show.
As for the topic, the thought of marriage and kids scare the fuck out of me.
I have just started to earn decent and start exploring the world. Marry and you have to deal with leave syncing with your partner. Have a child and be poor again.
I do like the idea of being the father and raising an undiplomatic shit stirrer who is a great athlete.
Also I see this friend of mine and dread the idea of your existence being defined by just one aspect of your life.
Yeah I heard the news and apparently the first episode was all about skin color and jokes on white folks.
I couldnāt see it coming.
If weāre being completely frank my marriage broke down. I spoke frankly with my (very soon to be) ex-wife for years about how I wanted us both to be completely settled in our careers and to have done a reasonable amount of travelling and enjoying being a married couple before we had kids.
But society and culture got in the way. She came from a family who had strong Nigerian values and she pushed for a child almost as soon as we got married. I got married at 26 (she was 28), I didnāt want children for at least another 2-3 years because I wanted to travel and progress at work a little bit more.
Unfortunately, despite having a strong agreement that we wouldnāt have kids for a couple of years, she changed up almost as soon as we got married and here we are now living totally separate lives just over 2 years later. There was a serious breakdown in the quality of our relationship because of it.
I think Iām better off single now anyway. I think to an extent women have always been my biggest weakness anyway so at least now I donāt have to suppress myself lol. As bad as that sounds, it is what it is.
Itās a shame though, I loved her more than Iād ever loved another woman Iād met in my life but I wasnāt about to be pressured into rushing a life changing decision just to conform to the pressure she was getting from her family. Either way, Iām comfortable and content with my life now and Iām enjoying travelling and the feeling of freedom again.
Sorry to hear about your troubles man. But this bit looks really bad on her part.
I donāt blame her nor do I hold any ill feeling towards her. Sheās a woman, she has hormones (that made her exceptionally broody at times) to worry about and the societal and cultural pressures that come with being a woman in her later 20s.
She was married, so she was expected to pop out kids. Her parents pushed for it, her friends pushed for it (and they were popping out kids too) so all in all she probably collapsed under the weight of expectation and put that above the discussions that we had.
Sorry to hear that @SRCJJ but it sounds like youāve handled it all pretty well.
Thanks brother. Iām all good now, was a tough few months initially but Iām in a much better head space now.
Sorry to hear @SRCJJ. I canāt imagine how hard that is.
I guess I can count myself lucky in this regard.
My wife and I both share the same view that we donāt ever want kids. Iāve been in my career since I was a teenager, as a carpenter/joiner but sheās the one that leads the academic life between us and sheās only just now starting to earn a decent wage at the age of 28.
Weāre on the brink of buying our first house together, have aspirations of owning a business in the future as a way of future proofing ourselves at an advanced period in our lives. We want to live a comfortable life, earn a reasonably good wage whilst not having to work stupid hours and enjoy as much time together in our lives as possible. Having a kid together would seriously strain our plans and life together, we both feel.
Weāve both made it clear to our parents and family that we will not be birthing anymore humans to the world and we do get stick for it but fuck that, itās our lives and we want to live it as stress free as possible!
It really is a strange ideology to peddle to others that having kids is the best thing you can do in your lives. I hate having that idea forced on me and my wife in social situations with family and friends.
Sorry to hear that @SRCJJ, thatās pretty rough on you that her expectations changed that early when you thought you had a common understanding.
Thanks @YJYUX and @Aussiegooner
Glad you and the Mrs have the same view though bro. And long may it continue. Hope you have a long and prosperous marriage, which will always be the case when you share the same goals and aspirations and you support each other to work towards that.
Sorry to hear about that @SRCJJ glad youāre feeling better in yourself now.
Fuck me, this kids chat is heavy and risky.
Id like to hold off for a bit too, bit I deffo do eventually want kids.