Seen this on Reddit definitely fake, but still funny 
Might be one of the best edits Iāve seen.
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August is here.
Transfer market about to 
ā¦
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CAM, RB, CM all requirements right now. Ā£100m funding or more season long loans. Fail to strengthen any of those and weāll be feeling it.
Lautaro would kill us financially if weāre buying him outright and certainly prevent sufficient investment on those areas. Is the perfect Auba replacement worth sacrificing another season?
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I think RB has been pushed back and personally, I have no issue with it. Xhaka staying could mean no extra CM needed.
If they can get someone like Odegaard in and Lautaro then I have no problem with it. I doubt the club is gonna give in to Sheffieldās demands so I can see a stopgap signing for backup goalie.
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Buy:
Odegaard 35m,
Lautaro 75m
Bruno Guimaeres 30m
and preferably Aouar 25m
Total 140-165m
Get a backup GK either on free transfer or loan. Leave RB position as is unless a good option presents itself.
Sell:
Willock for 25m,
Bellerin for 20m (or loan to Inter if it helps us with Lautaro signing).
Lacazette for 20m
Kolasinac for 3m
Xhaka for 20m
Speak to AMN to see if heās happy playing mainly RB, if not sell for 15/20m.
Willian - wages saving
Total (68-108m)
Net spend 32-97m
So based on these values, most we need is additional 100m net spend for an all but perfect window, which I donāt think is unreasonable given this is the summer theyāve come out and said the team will get investment to try and protect themselves from fan unhappiness.
Thatās way too ambitious for me. Should have used the wishlist thread. 
Iām expecting at most 4 incomings which is close to what you suggest but I doubt weāll be able to move more than 5 players on a perm.
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170m net spend not unreasonable?
I think City have done that once the year they bought 100 defenders, and Chelsea did it once last season when they were still spending a 100m profit from the previous season.
Haha probably, was just as this was the discussion point in the thread rn.
But if you exclude the Willian transfer, as a) probably unlikely to happen and b) wouldnāt save much anyway and c) could get loaned, that is only a maximum 5 permanent outgoings, assuming Bellerinās loaned but AMN is sold.
When youāre talking about a multi-billionaire owner whoās in the top 5 wealthiest owners in the league, and who had the option of cashing in for a big profit but chose to keep the club and committed to a big summer, no I donāt think itās unreasonable.
Plus thereās a range of net spends there depending on what we do (30 - 100m). If you take the average of 65m itās a total net spend of 135m. Iām sure I heard something about 150m transfer investment this yearā¦
too good for us, simple as.
most major clubs will jump in and take him if really available (which I donāt believe he will be as he loves Inter)
Itās worrying that we havenāt signed another attacking midfielder yet. Maybe Smith-Rowe can carry that position, but Willian is his back up right nowā¦ Plus itās sad that Bellerin, Xhaka and Lacazette still arenāt sold.
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Going into the summer we needed
CAM ā-> not signed
CM Partey Partner ā-> Probably Xhaka again
CM Backup ā-> ASL
RB ā-> not signed, probably Chambers
LB Cover ā> Nuno
Backup GK ā> Aaron āThe Relegatorā Ramsdale probably
Striker ā> not signed
CB ā> White
We also needed to move as many players from this list as possible:
Kola ā> rumored is heāll be paid to leave
Xhaka ā> negotiations stalled, new deal rumored
AMN ā> still here
Eddie ā> still here
Willock ā> Newcastle are broke
Lucas Torreira ā> still here
Willian ā> 
Lacazette ā> still here
Bellerin/Cedric/Chambers (grouped because I donāt think the club really gives a shit who goes) ā> Bellerin has interest from Inter who are also broke
Runnarson ā> still here
I think weāre going to end up riding it out with another year of Xhaka in midfield and a lot of āweāre trusting in youthā soundbites from Arteta and Edu along with the obligatory excuses about how it was a tough market (which is true to a point this summer).
Itās not a great performance from Edu. Okay we made two somewhat shrewd signings in ASL and Nuno. But we overpaid for Ben White at a time when maybe we didnāt need to. Weāre likely to overpay for Ramsdale. And the outgoings have been a total disaster.
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Fuck itās some ugly reading, if nothing much happens in the next few weeks Iād give Edu the arse.
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Iām really not expecting any other big signings.
Xhaka looked like heād make way for a starter to come in but thatās not happening. And despite being assured by water carriers like Le Grove and Gunnerblog that the club have money to spend, weāre once again in a one-in-one-out situation.
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I donāt even like Edu but he isnāt a magician.
The market has been a limbo the past 2 months.
One of the most uneventful ones weāve had in ages. At the end of the day he canāt force our players to accept moves or interested clubs to pay up.
Maybe we couldāve signed another player or two but imagine if we signed Xhakaās replacement, Roma still refusing to pay up and we ended up with more players in our already bloated roster.
Anyway, I do think it will naturally blow up at some point, especially as the start of the season looms near.
Lautaro links are hilarious because theyāre blatantly not true. Propagated by the Athletic propaganda merchants.
But if they are true, then itās even more hilarious.
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Imagine making excuses for these fucking shitters lmaoooo. Good job bruh youāve got a future in working for Arsenal with all the shit excuses ur spewing 
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Not excuses. Just a summary of the market as it is.
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If thatās the case then maybe they should have talked less shit about how weāre going to have a squad overhaul.
They were ones who raised expectations.
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