Thatâs true actually, along with some throwaway names that the club probably doesnât mind getting out.
When was the last time The Athletic broke the news on someone.
Your chicken shop weekly transfer round up - summer 2021 edition:
Ramsdale: Youâve been on the piss and itâs 4am. The grimey place with a 1 star food hygiene rating is the only place open. You also know youâre overpaying but what choice do you have? Already mentally preparing for a burning ring and a day on the shitter tomorrow.
Locatelli: The 5.5 star rating on Just Eat has turned your head. Brenda, Olafemi and Afsar have all left glowing reviews. The diversity of the people who love the chicken fills you with confidence. You agonise over the menu for 30 minutes but finally settle on what you want. You go to click order, literally catching the saliva before it drips onto your phoneâŚwhen an error message pops up saying there are no delivery drivers in your area. Your soul is crushed. Those glorious, glistening wings were never meant for you. You knew deep down that you were never good enough. Who are you trying to kid? You go to sleep on an empty stomach, weeping softly into your pillow and hating yourself. You hope tomorrow will be better but it wonât.
White: You try to be alternative and order a plant based vegan burger. You open the box and the mf looks rougher than Mankind after a Hell in a Cell match with the Undertaker. Nonetheless, you put on a brave face and take that first bite - bitch is dryer than Voldermortâs mouth when he turns into ash at the end of Deathly Hallows part II. The tomato has made the bun soggy as well. But fuck it, they claim thereâs about 20g of protein in there so you soldier on purely for the dubious nutriounal value. You try to convince yourself that it was the healthy choice but you know youâre just lying to yourself.
The Athletic will look really stupid if this happens. Itâs Pepe all over again, British based media know as much as Arsenal tell them and whatever is leaked from other PL clubs.
Renato Sanches + Aouar and be done with it. Fuck these PL signings.
Nah, Renato spends too much time out injured and when he doesnât, he can be inconsistent. Not a gamble worth taking.
Aouar I wouldnât mind but thatâs a forced marriage if I could see one.
Yo @Trion give us a breakdown on this kid. Real deal or Nah?
:wenger2:
His name is Sahal Abdul Samad.
He plays for ISL side Kerala Blasters
He is 24 years old
He will cost 1/100th of what we would pay for Maddison & Odegaard.
Edu & Arteta like the player
He lies somewhere between Real deal and Nah.
You telling me you donât regularly watch the ISL!?
Itâs clearly full of hidden gems 
Look at the @
Sadly I have not watched any football this year apart from occassional Arsenal match, not even Euros.
I have to be paid to watch ISL. I am a very poor supporter of this game.
Iâm aware - just wanted to test @Trionâs knowledge of ISL talents
Why would we even consider him from that League at 24.
Sunil Chetri or nothing.
Itâs a fake rumour.
So weâve gone from Grealish to Odegaard to Maddison to a player who plays for Kerala Blasters.
But Sahal Abdul Samad is a cheaper alternative than the other players weâve been linked with.
You donât say?
Iâve just looked him up and his birthday might be why weâre linked with him. 
His initials would be SAS. Who dares wins.
Good spot. This playerâs date of birth really is the icing on the troll transfer rumour cake.